Do you want to read more? (excerpt)?

after watching the video i would definitely want to read more of this. i like your writing style. it isn't complicated and fancy, its straight to the point and keeps the story going. i like that. but one thing i would say, is be careful with using vague phrases like "voice filled with emotion"...which emotion? is there a combination? don't be afraid to be specific. but otherwise i enjoyed it. the storyline is very creative :D!